"If you can't live off it for the rest of your life, it ain't worth stealing."
“At the end of the day, there is only one person that has to be happy with who you are as a person... and that person is you!
"Don't spend a single "attention unit" hating someone else, because that is one attention unit taken away from you being the best person that you can be."
“You have two choices…. you can like me or not. And I don’t really care which one you pick.”
“There are three kinds of people in this world. Rozett’s, people lucky enough to marry a Rozett, and people that wish they were Rozett’s”.
“Every problem is an engineering problem”
"It took me this long to train the one I have (wife), why would I want to start all over again??"
"RTFM" (Read the f'n manual)
On the subject of body piercing... "I put enough holes in this body by accident, why would I want to do it on purpose"!
"If you don't go to hell when you die, you didn't have enough fun while you were alive!
"If you aren't a Liberal when you are young, you have no heart. If you aren't a Conservative when you get older, you have no brain"
"Stay single and bring your kids up the same way"
"With a wife, three daughters, three female rabbits, and a female dog, why would I want another women in my life?"
"There is only one person that you should be trying to impress, and that is you!"
And the favorite of my niece, Michele...... "Pound Sand!"