My most recent blog post precipitated a number of comments from people that mean a lot to me. Thank you for caring and Thank You even more for speaking up. Please do not be alarmed by my post. Grief is a normal human response to an important loss. I am grieving the loss of my wife. She is gone. There is still someone named Pam that is living here, but she is not my wife. She is not the person that I fell in love with and married many years ago. She is not the person that joined me in raising our daughters. I am just mourning my loss. Remember, I am a pragmatist. Feelings like hopelessness are not on the agenda. I do feel blessed because Pam knows who I am (most of the time) and responds in-kind to hugs, kisses, and I love you's. Yes, it can be very challenging when she does not want her clothes changed or to take her medications. I will continue to deal with these situations as best I can. But I do not feel especially stressed with the physical aspects of care giving.
Regarding my physical health, rest assured that I do not take it lightly. In the past six months, I have seen my primary care doc, along with my cardiologist and pulmonologist. I have further testing scheduled for early June. It is not being ignored. There is no doubt that this journey is taking a toll. But we will get through it.
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