It has been 227 days since you left. It has not gotten any easier for me. I am glad that your suffering is over. I am glad that we were able to keep you at home, as you wished. But you were supposed to let me go first. You were supposed to wait until I was gone so that you could shave my beard and finally see what I looked like without it. I can't imagine what you thought or how you felt. Seeing you leave was very hard. You should know that Paula and Courtney were there with you. They left shortly before you did. Thankfully your suffering was over. Then ours began.
I'm sorry if I am rambling. I am just flooded with thoughts of you today. I have been remembering our trip to Williamsburg. We rented a big van for that drive. Touring Monticello was awesome. How about our trip to San Fransisco for Neil's wedding? The tour of the zoo nursery was special. So was our day at Uncle Walt's home. That was the first time the girls got on an airplane. I wonder how many parent's can say that their daughter was kicked out of Girl Scouts? Oh, well. Their loss. And our Christmas's at the farm. Do you remember the coyotes howling right behind the barn when you went out to tuck the horses in for the night? It's a good thing that Bubba was with you. Speaking Bubba, he was supposed to be my dog. But he fell in love with you, like I did.
Your 50th Birthday party was really special. The hall was full of so many of your friends. Everyone was so happy. And who gets a car for their birthday? Especially a car that you thought was sold to someone else. We fooled you!
I think I have shed enough tears for one day. I miss you. Every day. Some day I will get on with my life. But not today. Today I am just flooded with memories. I guess that I have no choice but to believe in an after-life. Otherwise, I will never see you again. I will never hug you again. Until the twelfth of never....
Hard to read through the tears! Be content in that you had something very special that few people get to experience. Unfortunately, this pain is the price. Still here for you, buddy, a phone call away! Bob Kostka
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