Wednesday, November 09, 2022

I Spoke Too Soon.....

 In my last post I mentioned that Pam's cognitive issues had not changed much and that she was dealing with the physical issues associated with Lewy Body dementia.   I mentioned that she was still able to take care of herself.  Well, I spoke too soon.  We had the night from hell on Monday night and yesterday was no better.   Sunday evening I walked her to the bedroom to go to sleep.  I went back to the computer as she started to change her clothes.  I heard a load crash and went running into the room to find her on the floor.  The crash was her head hitting the wall.  She was removing her shoes and lost her balance.  I had her sit on the floor for a few minutes to relax and then got her up and sitting on the bed.

 Eventually, she was off to sleep.  But not for long.  She was very vocal while asleep and very restless.  She was up again about two hours later and on the couch watching TV.  Well, not really.  She was dozing on and off for hours.  When I was ready to go to bed, I asked her if she would rather go to bed than sleep on the couch?  She insisted on staying on the couch.  So I dropped into the recliner and tried to sleep next to her.  Somewhere around 2 AM she decided to go to bed.  I heard her trying to get up from the couch and it woke me.  I helped her up and shuffle down the hall to the bedroom and then we both fell asleep again.  

On Monday, she arose mid-morning and got dressed and then was locked in the bathroom for quite a while.  When she  came out she was very upset.  I asked if I could help and she mumbled something about having to clean her clothes.  So I gathered up a few things from her laundry pile and started the washer.  By this time she was using the walker to get around the condo and her shuffle-walk was down to about six inches per shuffle.   She was complaining about her stomach and I suggested some Imodium.  She also insisted that we leave immediately and go home.  She wanted to go home!  I tried to explain that we were home, but it just didn't mean anything to her.    Home, as her brain was telling her, was our farm house in Maine.  Not only did we sell that two years ago, the new owners have since torn the building down and built a new house.  So the home in her brain is no longer there.  This is a recurring theme because she often says that she is going 'upstairs' to the bedroom.  Our condo is one floor.

It is very upsetting to me seeing her this troubled.  I could see the tears in her eyes.  I'm sure that she could see those in my eyes.  It is so painful to watch this going on and knowing that you can not do anything about it.  You can only keep them safe and comfortable.  She still has good days and she fully understands what is going on.   But on the bad days, it is just a different reality.  So painful. 

Monday evening was Burger Night at the condo clubhouse.  Because she was having a bad day, I gave her the option of going or staying home.  She chose to go.  She was still pretty groggy when we arrived at the clubhouse, but she sat down and we had a burger and some salad, followed by some ice cream.  Everyone at the clubhouse was very understanding and very helpful.  For that I am very grateful!  When we returned home, she wanted to go to bed.  For the first time, she was unable to get herself undressed.  I had to take her shoes and pants off for her.   

She seemed to sleep pretty well, but Tuesday was just a continuation of Monday.  She had that blank stare in her eyes and just gazed at the TV.  Occasionally, she nodded off.  I had an important doctor appointment scheduled for Tuesday afternoon and was very concerned about leaving her alone.  But I have a couple of cameras set up around the condo and I could keep an eye on her while I was gone.  When I returned home, she was just where I left her... staring and nodding off.  She really enjoyed the bowl of French Onion soup that I made her.  About an hour later she was off to bed for the night.  Again, I helped with her pants and shoes.  She slept pretty well last night and arose about 10 AM this morning, bright eyed and bushy tailed.  

She is now showered and dressed.  After the makeup, we will go out to JC Penny for her shopping therapy.  I understand why it is so stressful for the caregiver.  You just don't know from one day to the next whether you will be enjoying an outing with your loved one or watching them waste away and staring blankly into space.


  1. Bruce I hear you and feel what your going through😒. Also what Pam is going through. Perhaps we (LoAnn and I ) could come more often especially when you need to leave or just need a respite. Please ask me, call or message.
    And if there’s crumbs on the rug I’ll vacuum πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    Love you both and thank you very much for the updates❤️❤️

  2. Dear Cuz - so sorry for what you two are going through. I hope you are in touch with support groups. Lots of love to you both.

  3. I am so sorry Bruce. I know what you are going through and it is so hard.

  4. You and Pam are always in our hearts.πŸ’•πŸ™

    1. I always suspect that today is likely the best day we have left. Thanks for sharing